


Dear Spencer

by Spark_Stark



Series: Saudade [3]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Denial of Feelings, Love Confessions, Love Letters, M/M, Regret
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-17 22:08:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29107566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spark_Stark/pseuds/Spark_Stark
Summary: Three months after Spencer leaves, Aaron finds him and writes a letter.
Relationships: Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid
Series: Saudade [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2127507
Comments: 18
Kudos: 48





	Dear Spencer

_ Dear Spencer, _

_ Since the day you left I’ve been debating on sending this. You said you wanted me to find you, so I did. I’ll admit John Hopkins was not what I expected, but I know you’ll make a great surgeon.  _

_ I cannot even begin to explain how lost I've been since you left. I wish things hadn’t ended this way, but we both made decisions and now must deal with the consequences. I chose to never tell you feel about you.  _

_ I want you to come back so badly, I haven’t begun to try to find a replacement for your position. I don’t want a replacement, I just want you. But I couldn’t accept my own feelings. I pushed them so far away until they were almost out of touch, but they could never truly be gone. _

_ I know it is of no use to beg you to come back, as much as I want to. It would be simply selfish of me and I am already in disgust that I let you suffer so much alone the past year. _

_ My words aren't as poetic as yours, nothing I do is as amazing as you. You constantly impress me and take my breath away. Spencer, you are so much more than your mind; your intellect is part of your incredible personality, but so is your neverending kindness and empathy, your ability to light up a room by simply being in it. _

_ You know me, Spence, I'm not very good with my emotions. Even less so when you are involved. I am once again in admiration of your braveness because while you accepted your feelings quite some time ago, it took me much longer to accept my own. To be completely honest, I'm not sure if I have fully accepted the truth yet. _

_ That is probably what I love most about you; your unshakable moral compass and ability to tell the truth no matter what. You called yourself a coward, I am almost offended you would think so lowly of yourself. Spencer, you are the most courageous and strongest person on this planet. I wish I could be half the man you are. _

_ Sometimes I dream about what could have been between us if I had been braver. We could have been happy. I’m sorry I took that from you.  _

_ Take care of yourself Spencer. You owe it to yourself. _

_ Yours, Aaron. _


End file.
